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Take Back Your Life: The Story Behind Emotional Kinetics

Emotional Kinetics is a healing modality created by Wayne Adam and Kirk Johnson, based, in part, on the teachings of Reiki Master, Bernard Morin. The following is Kirk’s story behind the creation of the modality. For more information on Emotional Kinetics, see this Healing Digest post.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

“Huh, what was that?” I shot back at the concerned co-worker I only now noticed standing down the hall.

“Are you feeling okay? You don’t look so good.” she repeated.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” as I turned back to the pot of coffee I was putting on. “What kind of question was that!” I thought. “Why would she ask me something like that. Of course I’m alright. I’m always alright. And she knows that too. Everyone knows. That’s the kind of guy I am: physically fit, I eat right, I’m juggling my job, local and national union duties, night school, and a relationship, the list goes on and on… I AM THE MAN!”

Plunge of DespairThat’s just what I thought as I sat in my dialysis chair for the first time, thinking back to when this all started. I should have known Judy saw something in me that day. After all, from my own professional interactions with her I knew her to also be deeply intuitive. I looked up and gazed around the room. The pain and suffering I saw was almost unbearable. Expressions of anger, despair, denial, and fear were all around me. But there was acceptance too, on the faces of some who had come to grips with their new fate. “What am I doing here? I don’t belong here. These are not my new peers in life. They can’t be! I’m the guy. You know? THE MAN! Not this. Noooo!” I was the one in denial, or shock for that matter. “How did I end up here?”

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhh…” That was the long drawn-out sound they asked me to make as I lay on a massage table as two strangers lightly laid their hands on me and supposedly channeled healing energy to me. I felt kind of silly but at this point I was willing to try anything to get my kidneys to work again. Then something happened. Something I didn’t expect. To my surprise, the Ahhh… turned to Wahhhh! as I unearthed an ancient burial ground of emotion and began sobbing uncontrollably. Memories and feelings I had thought long forgotten were resurfacing for me to review. I heard a voice softly say “You’re in a safe place now. It’s okay to look at what happened back then and feel what you couldn’t before because it wasn’t safe. Just let it go.” And I did. Boy did I ever. They gave me just the permission I needed to unleash those pent up emotions. The relief I felt after that event was indescribable. I will always remember that day.
grey foxThe fox raced ahead of me as I drove home from the shamanic workshop. A small grey fox sprinting up the gravel shoulder, kicking up dust as it sped along ahead of me. Then it was gone like the apparition you weren’t meant to see. After that I saw foxes everywhere. They were speaking to me in that unheard, unseen language called shamanism. Of course I was seeing foxes everywhere. After all, the fox was my totem and had been for many years. I just didn’t know it. I found that out through a shamanic journey I had taken. In shamanic journeying you enter a dreamlike state while you are awake and can interact with nature and animals who guide you in life – if you’ re willing to look for them. At first when I journeyed, a part of me thought, “This is just my imagination playing tricks on me.” Later when other animals brought messages to me, or when things that I saw while journeying began to ring true in my life, I could no longer deny their authenticity. I began to rely on these messages to guide me in my life.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Is this Kirk?” the other voice asked.

“Yes, it’s him,” I replied.

“Kirk, it’s Dr. Whatley. I just got the results back from your chest x-ray and I just had to call you right away. Has anyone ever told you your heart was enlarged?”

“No,” I said, remembering Dr. Whatley had never called me at home before and now that he had, his voice had the tone of the two a.m. police officer bringing bad news to the parents of an accident victim.

“Well, it’s enlarged now, in fact quite enlarged. You need to go see a heart specialist right away…”

view from 16th floorIt was five months now. Five months of looking out of the same sixteenth floor window from the cardiac care unit of Mount Sinai Hospital in Toronto Canada. Five months, and my patience was getting thin. As thin as my two hundred and thirty pound body was, now weighing in at a buck seventy. Between the barrage of tests, the daily hemodialysis, and the renal diet hospital food, I don’t know what was worse. Sorry, yes I do: the constant waiting. Waiting for the organs to arrive for my double heart/kidney transplant. I had already had two false alarms. Wheeled down, shaved up, prepped, and anxious right up to the operating room door only to find out something had gone wrong and the operation was now cancelled. Oh well. Back to my window. But not to worry, all is not lost. I’ll be returning just in time to watch the summer change into fall!

As much as I complained about sitting in that clinical setting twenty-four-seven, I was beginning to appreciate the time alone and the silence. You see, during the first few months of my stay in hospital I was pretty much once again in shock. I had worked so hard with holistic healing methods to try to heal my body, and when I didn’t receive the results I wanted overnight, I just gave up. “If I can’t do it myself, the way I want, then here you go. Take my body and do whatever you want with it. Fix it!” With that attitude I just lay in bed in a conscious, comatose state and just got sicker and sicker.

Then one day it dawned on me. The thought of all thoughts fell across my consciousness like sunrise over the ocean on a clear cloudless day. “If I do not take part in my own healing in this hospital, I will die.” Hospitals and everyone in them are great and necessary, but if you leave your life in their hands completely while blindfolding yourself to what goes on, it’s pure suicide, plain and simple. Now don’t get me wrong. I owe my life to those doctors, surgeons, nurses, and support staff who were there for me. I just came to realize that if I really wanted to check out, the universe had given me all the opportunity I needed to do so. All I had to do was give up!

When I awoke from my trance, I wanted to do everything for myself. Unfortunately there is only so much they will allow you to do in a critical care unit of a major hospital, but I had to try. So I did. Anything I could do for myself, I did, and soon began to take control of my life once again. I began to see the connection holistic medicine and allopathic (conventional) medicine have in common. Conventional medicine patches you up and gives you the drugs to preserve your life. That precious preservation then gives holistic medicine the time to heal the root of your illness and allows your body to once again become whole.

With this new understanding, I now used my medical incarceration to reflect on my life and used my remaining time in hospital to return to contemplation and meditation. At that time I was so thin and flexible, I found it easy to sit in the lotus position (cross legged with feet on top of the thighs like a pretzel), a feat I found nearly impossible in the past (and now). As I stilled my mind and body, I became peaceful and at one with my surroundings. It’s funny, because when I think back to the timing of everything, the day I meditated with no pain in the lotus position successfully was the day I was called for my life-saving heart transplant. Coincidence? I think not.

Dialysis MachineAfter receiving my new heart, I struggled with the fact that I was still chained to a dialysis machine and nurses digging needles into my arm every couple of days. I was once again becoming uncomfortable with my life. I was not at ease, or full of dis-ease. That didn’t change until I was offered an opportunity to learn how to operate a $23,000 dialysis machine, given on loan from the hospital, in my own home. I could dialyze myself each night while I slept or on my own schedule and I loved it. I loved it so much that when 3 years after my heart transplant I received the call that a kidney was available for me, I paused… Okay, just for a second, but I did pause! Of course I wanted a kidney transplant. It meant freedom from catheters, very large needles, and the hum of machines and water purifiers in my bedroom. Then I realized that it wasn’t until I had found a way to accept life given my own set of circumstances was I able to move on; was I allowed to once again take control of my life.

“Tag! You’re it!” Or at least that’s how it felt as my first wife Lorie and I went back and forth with our illnesses. Somewhere between kidney disease and cardiomyopathy, Lorie had contracted breast cancer. As if what was happening to me wasn’t enough. It was an aggressive strain that required: a left breast lumpectomy; the eventual removal of the left breast; it moved into the skin in the upper torso and on to the right breast and its removal; into the bone in her lower left leg; into an inoperable tumor in the brain; and finally into both of her lungs. All in the space of about three years. Fortunately for us, at any one time, one of us managed to be in a state of recovery while the other was very ill. We played this morbid game of tag while asking ourselves, “What have we done to deserve this?” and “Why are we being tested like this over and over again, Lord?” It has been said ‘You only get what you can handle’ and ‘Whatever doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger!’ One thing is for sure, after being given lots of opportunity to cash in our chips, we are being kept alive for something. What that is, only time will tell.

I began to analyze how I managed to stay alive and regain my health while during my bouts of severe illness I watched many others pass through the pearly gates. This brought me back to the channeling of healing energy or universal life force energy. I wanted to learn more about it and felt a need to help others with it the way it helped me. I found myself in an advanced Reiki workshop where you not only had a chance to work on others, but continued your own emotional, physical, and spiritual journey by being the subject of others practical experience. This is where I met Wayne Adam for the first time.

Wayne was (is) a local police officer but more than that, a gifted psychic medium and as I later learned, an accomplished musician, poet, author and philosopher. I watched in awe as he used his gifts of clairvoyance, clairaudience and clairsentience to guide others to the issues that needed emotional release and healing. From his own experiences on the table that week, I learned that he had a turbulent childhood similar to my own and that the path he was now walking was also aligned with mine.

The difference between Wayne and myself stems from how we came to be at the same place of realization at the same time. I came from the push side and Wayne came from the pull side of the Push or Pull Theory of Enlightenment. The theory suggests that all people eventually come to a spiritual awakening in their lifetime. Some get there sooner and some later but on average it seems to occur in the early to mid thirties. Some people have to be pushed by way of illness or life-changing event, while others are drawn to it like a moth to a flame. I ignored the spiritual side of my life choosing to focus on mental and physical aspirations. Nothing could have swerved me from that path except for the illnesses that befell me. I got the kidney disease and still did not get it, so I got the heart thing. I get it NOW! Wayne on the other hand, was fortunate enough to be drawn to metaphysical phenomenon prior to anything manifesting in his physical body. After speaking about this, he mentioned sensing a dark foreboding that something was coming physically and this prompted him to examine his life and how he was living it. After the workshop we remained in touch and came to realize we were both accepted as Reiki Master candidates by our teacher and mentor Bernard Morin.

Mikao Usui
Mikao Usui, the First Reiki Master

Becoming a Master candidate was no small feat under the tutelage of Bernard Morin. Training was to last no less than one year and you had to exhibit that you had accomplished Mastery of the Self , or self mastery, before you could ever hope to be master of anything else. Bernie was often known to discourage Reiki Mastery until one was ready to accept the responsibility of the energy and the teaching that undoubtedly would follow any true master. In essence, you had to become the energy; a real-life vessel for healing.

A little known fact about working with life force energy and receiving life force energy treatments is that once you move through most of your physical expressions of illness, you begin to move through the metaphysical pieces as well. I first used the energy to heal myself faster and more effectively after both my heart and kidney transplants. I then used it to regain my strength and energy to such levels that I was able to resume rigorous fitness training at the gym, playing competitive basketball in three local leagues, and competing in dragon boat racing with other transplant recipients. I then realized after a while that I began to develop my own subtle awareness of blockages and disease in other people I worked on. I couldn’t explain it but I could sense where people felt discomfort before they told me about it. I began to sense truth and could tell when people were not being truthful about various issues surrounding their life which would be later verified through further interaction. I was becoming more attuned with my spiritual self and it was now guiding me and revealing things to me that I was unable to receive before.

Upon completing my training with Bernie, I began to work more closely with Wayne. Using his psychic insight and feedback, I confirmed that I was to continue studying healing methods, learn about the meridians or channels through which healing energy travels, and to study dreams and their meanings. Spirit had been speaking to me through dreams and upon awaking, I was simply getting up and forgetting them. As soon as I made an effort to remember them, I was able to recount multiple dreams each night in great detail and to record them in a daily journal. During the day, I would analyze them to discover their hidden meaning which now guide me in my life.

I was lead to other gifted people with sight and I found it remarkable that these totally unrelated individuals all had the same message for me: My body is an excellent conduit for healing energy and that I should study energy and its pathways and develop a system of healing that encompasses everything I’ve learned. Furthermore, that I would form an alliance or partnership in this life’s-work effort.

Emotional Kinetics is the synthesis of those studies and experiences. It is a product of what we have found works amazingly well speaking from real personal experience. That’s the bottom line isn’t it? The most important feature of eK is that we’re bringing it to you from real life experience. We didn’t read about healing in books or in schools, we actually did it. We bring you first-hand knowledge of the power of these methods from us, Kirk and Wayne, people just like you, who asked the question about disease, “Why me?”

If you or someone you know is working through a difficult time in their life, stop thinking about it and take action. Follow a proven approach – an approach taken by real people who made it in real life and can relate to your situation.

It’s time to Take Back Your Life!

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